How to Use Online Games and Activities to Connect to Grandchildren

(FROM THE WALL STREET JOURNAL)

By ALEXANDRA SAMUEL

 

The online world is a godsend for grandparents who are willing to embrace it.

 

When it comes to grandparents and grandchildren, technology can be a double-edged sword.

For some grandparents, it can be a barrier to communication, a foreign language that seems too daunting to learn and understand. But for those willing to take the leap, technology can be a bridge between grandparents and grandchildren, allowing them to forge a daily connection that was impossible in previous generations.

Simply asking your grandchildren about their online activities can be a great start—an opening to a whole new set of conversations and shared experiences. The trick is to find things at the intersection of your grandchildren’s online passions and your own hobbies or interests. That is easier when you know what some of the options are:

“Minecraft”: This online game of building and exploring fantasy worlds is hugely popular with children. If your grandchildren are playing it already, playing together can be a great way to connect, however far away you live.

While there are lots of activities involved that feel like competitive videogames, I found it easiest to get started in “creative mode,” which allows players to build virtual homes or castles out of blocks that work like big on-screen Lego bricks.

It costs about $27 to buy a copy of “Minecraft” you can play on your computer, but once you’ve done that, you can make online dates to play with the grandchildren even if you’re in different locations.

You can ask them to suggest activities within the game that you’ll both enjoy. You might like competing with timed challenges, where you and the grandchildren will have a few minutes to build a giant cow or a virtual train. Or help them out on their own favorite project, adding rooms to their palace, or extending a treehouse.

What really matters is learning enough about the game to understand the children’s obsession, and having the opportunity to chat—“Minecraft” has its own text chat system—while you play.

Genealogy: For genealogy enthusiasts, working on the family tree can introduce grandchildren to their ancestral history. On some websites, like Geni and Ancestry.com, multiple family members can collaborate. Ask the grandchildren to fill in details on the immediate family, or encourage them to research an ancestor who interests them. You can get younger children interested in family history by introducing them to an app like Little Family Tree. With older children, share the results of what you’ve already learned about your genealogy. My big sister is a genealogist and a new grandmother: She plans to use the “Zap the Grandma Gap” books to introduce her grandchildren to genealogy. Later she plans to ask them to join her on Ancestry.com.

Many online games have a chat function, and so give you a way of exchanging short messages along with your game play.

Internet memes: These are typically funny images or short videos, which spread among teens and tweens like wildfire. Even children too young to read can enjoy cute animal videos, and if you become the hip grandparent who includes amusing videos and images in your emails, you’ll never have to worry about your emails lingering unread in their inbox. As your grandchildren get older, they may delight in sending you their latest online finds, too.

Social media: Following your grandchildren on social media can be a great way of keeping up with their day-to-day lives. But be sure to ask whether they want you to follow them, and if yes, on which platforms. While Facebook is still the most-used social network for both adults and teens, your grandchildren might enjoy having you follow their photography on Instagram or their videos on YouTube—especially if you show them how much they matter to you by liking or commenting on their posts.

If Facebook is the way they want to keep in touch, you don’t have to post your own news on Facebook at large: You can create a private Facebook group for immediate family. It is a way of exchanging your latest news without all of Facebook being privy to the conversation. In addition to bringing you closer to your grandchildren, you’ll be helping them stay in touch with their cousins and extended family.

Online games: Games such as “Draw Something” and “Words With Friends” are popular among adults and children. Even children who are barely reading can enjoy the mobile versions of multiplayer games like “Ticket To Ride” and “Carcassonne.” Many have a chat function, and so give you a way of exchanging short messages along with your game play. The latest iPhone messaging app places such games within text messaging, which can be a good way of inserting yourself into grandchildren’s texting habits. You’re much more likely to hear from them regularly if you stay in touch via text rather than email.

Social activities available on the Web offer endless opportunities for interacting with grandchildren near or far.

Even under the same roof, connecting with screen-obsessed grandchildren on their own turf can be fun and emotionally rewarding. When my son hangs out with his grandmother, he plays his favorite Lego games on her iPad, sitting close beside her so he can explain each step of his gameplay. She loves engaging him in conversation (even about a videogame!), and he loves having an enthusiastic audience.

Get outside: “Pokémon Go” conquered the world this summer, as both adults and children roamed the streets, searching for virtual Pokémon (animated creatures) using their smartphones or other hand-held devices. Even if you’re not a “Pokémon Go” player, taking the grandchildren Pokémon hunting can be a great way to get them out to a nearby park or historical landmark.

Another possibility for outdoor romps: geocaching. Think of it as a treasure hunt that uses a mobile phone: Using a geocaching app, or a standard GPS device, you get directions to the GPS coordinates of a local “cache,” where you will find some kind of small treasure. These caches can be hard to find, so the children may spend quite a bit of time exploring. Once you’ve found a treasure, leave a new one behind—a tiny dollar-store toy is perfect.

Hands-on activities: Finally, for more tangible pursuits, hobby sites like InstructablesPinterest or Craftster can give you ideas for building, craft or creative projects you can undertake with your grandchildren. These sites offer step-by-step instructions on anything from making a birdhouse to creating your own bath soap. Find inspiring ideas for weekend projects you can tackle with the grandchildren, or instructions for a project you already have in mind. For children who enjoy crafts or construction, your help can unlock a whole new set of possibilities.